When I was on solitary retreat in early December, I thought I would be macho and sit for three hours at a time. As a result, the entire vein in my right leg clotted up. I was diagnosed with Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT). Fat people are at risk for DVT. This is the first time I have ever had a life threatening condition. Aside from a couple of anxiety attacks I got used to it.
The first week I had to inject lovenox sub-cutaneously and after a week of that, twice a day, my stomach turned black and swelled up with scar tissue. It's been about two weeks and the bruises are fading but there is a lot of scar tissue, hopefully not permanent. For a while the scar tissue was pushing against my uterus and causing cramps.
I wear compression socks and keep my leg elevated whenever I sit down, but I can now walk short distances and can drive. I can't swim right now because vigorous activity might dislodge the clot and send it to my lungs, causing a pulmonary embolism. Even the word sounds ominous and it is.
I cancelled my appointment with my nutrionist because weight gain is inevitable without exercise. I don't want to have to drive 20 miles just to see my weight go up. I have to decide whether I want to eat vegetables or not. If I eat vegetables, I will have to have my warfarin adjusted again. I haven't been eating vegetables lately. Or much of anything else.
After years of meditation, I cut certain thoughts and not let my mind go to certain places. However I can't help but think...my body is turning against me and I am just going to get fatter and fatter...and then I cut the thoughts and don't go there.
